Let It Out.....Time to grieve, and....

Time to be with yourself........I hate this. I have a long history of grieving after-the-fact, and sometimes far later.

When my Mom died, I was a stoic person through the funeral and the things that followed.....I later wrote a piece to express my feelings and I let it out to my family....pre-Facebook....Before Christmas as i shared a story called "The Empty Seat!".......I cried a lot.....

Now I lost my younger brother Mark DeLand.....he had many health problems and his death was not unexpected....but to me it is still my younger brother. By nearly 10 years....I remember him as the blonde little kid who was a trial to me, and my sibling at the same time.

Now he is gone....the 2nd of my siblings to pass before me.He and I had a relationship that was drive by the fact we never had the same goals/jobs/life experiences.....We truly lived lives different and alone one from the other.

However, we also spent a lot of time trying desperately to figure out life. We often, when in the same place.....mostly while he lived in Polk County and I worked there.....drinking a beer or a Jack and Coke (his choice for many years)......and we spoke of our parents and our relationship with them. Sometimes we met at a 7-11 or a similar place and got a 6 pack and sat in my car  (then a country-owned car) and toasted life while discussing where we were.....

We never got as close as I would have liked.....whatever the reason.....BUT, that being said, I loved him from birth to death....and he left behind a marvelous son, Pete......I have loved Pete, and his cousin Mike from afar as they were the younger generation. Mike passed far too young at 41 from a brain aneurism....Pete remains and is a rock in my family.....the son of my Brother Mark.....

Life goes on and now I am blessed with my 1st Great Grandson......Gabriel.... He is now 4 months old and I will see him this weekend!

Life and family proceed, but My dear brother Mark...I will miss you.....and my remaining sibling Dawn....come on kid....let us defy the odds and live for another 10 to 20 years......

Life at 71 is happy and active for me.....I will NOT go softly into that dark night....You will have to drag me fighting and enjoying life!

I love and Loved you Bro........miss you more than you could ever imagine!